Rather Poetic
by littleginamags
Summary: Angelus comes back and has a score to settle: He wants to make the Slayer suffer. Will he develop deep feelings for her in the process, or will he kill her before they start to set in? And will Buffy prefer Angelus over her beloved Angel? Find out...
1. Lost

Rather Poetic

-All characters belong to Joss Whedon. I didn't create any of them, I'm just borrowing them.

- **Just a word of advice:** this fanfic DOES contain content that many readers won't find appealing. There is rape, murder, molestation, strong language, a lot of smut, and a hell of a lot of violence/gore.

- **Does Angelus feel love, or obsession?** You'll have to find that out on your own. Readers, be cautioned. This is ANGELUS, NOT ANGEL. Angel may be in love with Buffy and may be sweet to her, but Angelus wants her tortured before he wants her dead. He may change his mind, he may love her, or he may not. Find out ;]

- **This fanfic: **Takes place during the beginning of fourth season: After Angel keeps a watchful eye on Buffy to make sure she isn't harmed, he leaves Sunnydale before she could realize he was there. But he had a secret to tell her: When he was released from the demonic dimension where he was held captive after his death, he was given an ultimatum: Keep his soul long enough to lure the Slayer into his clutches so she could trust him, and therefore allow Angel to unknowingly become her murderer; but since Angel didn't succeed, the Powers That Be are now going to take over. Angel's soul is gone. Angelus has now returned. Some reference to Angel: Season One- "I Will Remember You" episode, smut, foul language, and plot twists.

* * *

_The more I look at her, the harder it is for me not to run up to her and tell her what will happen,_ I thought broodingly to myself as I gazed at my former lover: the spunk, blonde Slayer, Buffy Summers.

She was sitting with her friends, Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris at one of the high tables in the center of the Bronze, laughing with them over some stupid crack Xander made while I stood in the distance, the shadows obstructing any possible view that they'd have of me.

_Her hair is longer_, I thought with a small smile. I'd always loved her hair and all the fun hairstyles she molded with it. And how it always smelled like vanilla, and how it slipped between my fingers like silk… I winced; shaking myself from the memories I had of her, of her and I, together. I wasn't here to reminisce about my old lover. I was here to make sure that she was fine, that the big evil I sensed was taken care of. There was a strong feeling in my gut that told me all was well once again in Sunnydale and my beloved Slayer and her friends were safe. _Safe, _I thought with a sigh. _They're safe for now, but not for long. Time is almost up. They'll be in grave danger again, and Buffy will have to save the day… unless the darker part of me gets to her first._

The demon in me, Angelus, bulked wildly at the thought of killing Buffy. He remembered her; he remembered how she felt, squirming beneath his grip and how beautiful she looked with tears in her eyes when she cried because of his cruel words. Angelus wasn't finished with her, and I knew it. As soon as my time was up, Angelus would reign over me once again, and he would stop at nothing to kill her like he had killed all the other girls he became obsessed with. And there was nothing, nothing I could do to stop it.

†

I sat alone, and I remembered the meeting Buffy and I had yesterday- which is the same meeting we just had- when came to my office in Los Angeles, completely furious because she found out that I had been watching her. The way she walked in with her gorgeous hair flowing gracefully on her shoulders, dressed in black, and sporting her classic wedge-heeled boots, I almost couldn't fight the urge to take her in my arms and kiss her. It was only yesterday… well, to me, it was. Buffy wouldn't think of it as yesterday because to her, the incident where she came to my office happened today.

The way that Mohra demon came in and attacked us, it seemed like the perfect set up. Like the Powers That Be were purposely mocking me because they knew I'd always want to have Buffy the way a mortal man could- a mortal like Xander, for instance- or worse… They knew I'd want to have Buffy the way I knew Angelus could have her. I had a sick, twisting feeling in my stomach that they sent the Mohra demon to make me human to hurt me… to make me always wonder about what I always wanted but could never have.

We did spend a beautiful day though, Buffy and I. When the Mohra demon's blood mixed with mine, when it made me human and I saw Buffy's face light up in mixed shock and happiness as I approached her in direct sunlight and kissed her with the passion I used to express to her, it made me so overjoyed to be a man. I was a man that could have my lover, finally. And when we kissed in my quarters underneath my office, and the kissing led to intense lovemaking on every surface in that room, I felt like it was all too good to be true.

And then… when I had to return to Buffy after I talked with the Oracles about my condition and asked them to reverse it… I wanted to die.

_ The clock on my desk read 8:56._

_ As I came down the steps to my apartment, I saw Buffy wearing a beautiful red dress with flowers on it that flowed gracefully as she paced. She looked up at me when she saw me enter the room, the expression on her face mirrored the worry she probably had when she first dealt with me disappearing on her after an amazing night of lovemaking._

_ "I'm guessing that expression isn't because they were all out of fresh OJ at the deli… What happened?"_

_ I wanted to smile at her quip. Leave it to Buffy to make a joke to try and lighten the mood. It's something I'd always love about her. _

_ But I had to remain stoic. I had things I needed to say to her. There wasn't enough time._

_ "Nothing happened," I promised her, walking away from her as I reached the landing. But after a few steps I had to turn to look at her. "I just-"_

_ "Where have you been?" she cut in, the worry evident in her voice._

_ I looked down and stood before her before admitting, "I went to see the Oracles." I paused, noticing her shock. "I asked them to turn me back."_

_ "What? Why?" she declared._

_ "Because more than ever I know how much I love you." I answered her, trying to reach out to touch her._

_ But she backed up and walked away from me. "No," she cried. "No, you didn't."_

_ I approached her again. I had to keep pressing this. I had to tell her. "And if I stayed mortal one of us would wind up dead, maybe both of us. You heard what Mohra said."_

_ She wheeled around in a fast blur. "Mohra is gone. We killed him."_

_ "He said others would come."_

_ "They always come. And they always will. But that's my problem now, not yours, remember?"_

_ "No," I shook my head. "I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone."_

_ "Then we fight this together," she pleaded._

_ I crossed by her, fist clenching as I spoke. "You saw what happened last night. If anything I'm a liability to you." I faced her as I said this, I had to make her understand. "You take chances to protect me, and that's not just bad for you, it's bad for the people we were meant to help."_

_ Tears were welling up in her eyes now. I wanted to stop what I was saying, to go right back to the Oracles and tell them that I couldn't handle the burden of not having her and that I'd like to be a mortal man. That I'd die happy as a human knowing that I loved and lost rather than not loved at all. _

_ But the look on Buffy's face… it stopped me. This had to happen. It had to happen now._

_ "So… what?" she cried. "You just took a whole twenty-four hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was much more fun being a superhero?"_

_ "You know that's not it," I replied. "How can we be together if the cost is your life or the lives of others?" I stopped her then, and she paused, just staring at me with tears in those mesmerizing green eyes. My mouth started working in an uneasy way, feeling horrible for the harsh reality my words created. I came forward and took her in my arms, comforting her. "I know. I couldn't tell you. I wasn't sure- if I could do it if I woke up to you for one more morning."_

_ She kept her face in my chest, sniffing, "I understand," she said, and then raising her head to look at me. "So, what happens now?"_

_ I cupped her face as a tear ran down her cheek, and took a deep breath before I said, "The Oracles are giving us back the day, turning back time, so I can kill Mohra before his blood makes me mortal."_

_ "When?"_

_ I glanced over at the clock on my desk. A pang shot through my chest. It was now 9:00. "Another minute." _

_ Her eyes widened, the shock of the situation rushing over her sweet features. "A minute? No. No, it's not enough time!" she reasoned, shaking her head._

_ "We don't have a choice, it's done." _

_ How I wanted to die. So ironic that I would give everything to be mortal for Buffy and the day my wish comes true is the day I decide I want to die. I couldn't win either way. If I'm mortal I'll be able to give Buffy the life she wants, the life she deserves, complete with lovemaking and kids and marriage, but I'll be the Mary Jane to Buffy's Spiderman. I'd be a helpless liability that she'd always have to worry about. And if I'm immortal, I'll always be limited with her and be subjected to kisses and fondling but I'd never be able to be one with her, to have her take on my name, to have her bear our children. But I'd still be a superhero. I could help her fight demons, rid the world of evil, and save her life like no one else could, but that wouldn't be enough. Either way, I am damned._

_ "How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had? What we could have had?"_

_ I looked away from her eyes for a brief second, her words cutting into my beating heart. Beating heart, I realized, and not some hollow organ that remains there just so a Slayer can penetrate it as means to end my existence. My heart was beating, I was alive, and it was breaking._

_ "You won't," I whispered, looking at her with sad eyes. "No one will know but me."_

_ "Everything we did…" she try to rationalize._

_ I cut her off. "It never happened."_

_ She shook her head. "It did. It did. I know it did!"_

_ I couldn't say anything, because I was rendered speechless. She looked down at my chest and put her hand on it. "I felt your heart beat."_

_ "Buffy…"_

_ She looked at me, tears in her eyes and her mouth fixed in a pout. She looked so upset, so alone, like the one thing in her life that meant anything to her was now ripped away. I knew she felt that way, because I was feeling the same thing. Everything that ever mattered to me before now seemed trite, stupid, next to what I had before me. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen, the most powerful Slayer the Powers That Be have ever known, the enchanting beauty that had bewitched me was standing before me in tears. My mortal enemy, my true love, my reason for living and for dying, stood before me and all I could do was kiss her. _

_ I pulled her in and the fire started. Every time we kissed it was like the sweetest nectar I could ever taste. Better than alcohol, better than blood, and better than the food I had eaten in the past day. Nothing was more satisfying than a kiss from Buffy Summers. She was the thirst I couldn't quench, the hunger I couldn't sate, the urge I couldn't quell. I kissed her passionately, and she kissed back, wrapping one arm around my shoulder and the other around my head, and I followed the same motions. It was a feverish, desperate kiss that ended with her pulling back and looking at me as if the world as we know it was falling away._

_ She stole a glance at the clock, and less than ten seconds remained. "Oh, God!" she cried, more tears spilling down her cheeks. She gripped my shoulders hard, saying, "It's not enough time!"_

_ "Shhh, please. Please," I begged her. Tears were now coming to my eyes. They stung at first, the liquid foreign to me, but I blinked and realized that I was crying. I held on to her as we sobbed, saying "Please, please," in an effort to get her to stop weeping. The sound of her crying was breaking my heart into smaller and smaller pieces._

_ She brought herself into my embrace and we hugged for the last time as she said in my ear, "No, I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget." And as she said those words, we gripped tighter. We knew she would, I knew she would. As much as I'd like to believe that no matter what the circumstances were, Buffy could always manage to be the exception to the rule, but I knew in this case that wasn't possible. Buffy would forget. She'd never remember. She'd never know how complete I felt when I was with her. She'd never know that the only time I was ever truly complete was that day._

And I sit here, thinking of yesterday, and I know she'll never remember. The demon in me, Angelus, jolted suddenly in me and I gripped my dead heart in surprise.

"No!" I gasped, eyes squeezed shut as I tried to catch my breath. "No, not now. This can't be happening now."

I cast my eyes to the heavens, knowing this was the end but trying so hard to prevent it. "Please, please!" I begged the vacant air. "I'll do anything- anything! I couldn't give you Buffy because I love her. Please, I'll do anything just don't take my soul away! Don't take it away!"

The sensation of my demon came stronger and it burned. I recoiled in the fetal position and tried with all my mind to keep it back. "No!" I screamed. It burned, seared through me and the pain was growing. It multiplied in brute force and there was nothing I could do. Angelus was coming. I felt his thoughts, I knew what he wanted. He wanted Buffy.

"Buffy!" I screamed, hoping she wasn't too far away to hear me. She left only a few minutes ago. Shouldn't she hear me? "Buffy!" I yelled again. "Buffy!"

I screamed, this time from the ripping pain in my head as I realized Angelus was now in my mind, and he was pulling me into the dark abyss that he used to dwell in. I would now be the prisoner, I would now be held captive by him. And the last thought I will remember was how ironic it was that both times I lost my soul, I screamed Buffy's name right before it took me.

* * *

So this is my first Buffy/Angelus fanfic. I hope you guys enjoy it =)


	2. Composure

-All characters belong to Joss Whedon. I didn't create any of them, I'm just borrowing them.

- **Just a word of advice:** this fanfic DOES contain content that many readers won't find appealing. There is rape, murder, molestation, strong language, a lot of smut, and a hell of a lot of violence/gore.

- **Does Angelus feel love, or obsession?** You'll have to find that out on your own. Readers, be cautioned. This is ANGELUS, NOT ANGEL. Angel may be in love with Buffy and may be sweet to her, but Angelus wants her tortured before he wants her dead. He may change his mind, he may love her, or he may not. Find out ;]

-**A side note I didn't mention before: **this is going to go back and forth between Buffy's and Angelus's POV from now on. The first chapter was dedicated to Angel's, but now that Angelus has taken over, he is no more. Sometimes I'll go back and forth between POV's during the chapters, but you'll know whose POV it is because I'll announce it at the beginning.

- **This fanfic: **Takes place during the beginning of fourth season: After Angel keeps a watchful eye on Buffy to make sure she isn't harmed, he leaves Sunnydale before she could realize he was there. But he had a secret to tell her: When he was released from the demonic dimension where he was held captive after his death, he was given an ultimatum: Keep his soul long enough to lure the Slayer into his clutches so she could trust him, and therefore allow Angel to unknowingly become her murderer; but since Angel didn't succeed, the Powers That Be are now going to take over. Angel's soul is gone. Angelus has now returned. Some reference to Angel, Season One: "I Will Remember You" episode, smut, foul language, and plot twists.

* * *

**Angelus's POV**

Awakened.

There's nothing else like that feeling. Being asleep for so long, just wanting to break free from the cage that held me tightly to my weaker bonds, it was all too much for me. My mind ran amuck with my senses, and my thirsts long since dulled were now revitalized three times more than what they were in the beginning.

But what did I thirst for?

I scoffed. That wasn't the right question. I didn't thirst for just anything- there was something _specific _I wanted.

_Not a something,_ my mind corrected me. _A someone._

I smiled. Of course she'd be what I wanted. After all these years of being kept out of reach from my darling enemy, of course I'd want to have her as the first thing I'd taste as soon as I came back into the picture. I still knew how amazing her blood felt in my mouth, how decadent and filling her sustenance was, and I wanted to do more than bleed her dry.

A mental image of me, the ruthless and unbeatable Angelus holding my young and impressionable victim in my arms as I lapsed gingerly from the delicate space on her neck aroused me. My beautiful, sweet enemy heightened the thirst that I had been craving since I escaped the treacherous prison of my despicable, righteous fuck, Angel.

She would be mine tonight. There was no denying that I'd stop at nothing to taste her. Maybe a mere kiss on the lips, or perhaps I'd bite her lip and suck greedily on her incredible blood? Only the night would tell.

**Buffy's POV**

The ride back to Sunnydale was lonely. I sat in the cab, curled up next to the window and napped after I spent about half an hour of crying. When I woke up I was at my house where I could hopefully be alone. I didn't want to see anyone. Not Xander or Willow, or even Giles. None of them could ease the dull, aching pain that I felt in my chest.

"This it, miss?" the cabbie asked, looking over his shoulder with a lit cigarette stub hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

I nodded. "Ugh, yeah, it is." I handed him the appropriate amount of money with the tip. "Thanks."

I walked up to my house, unlocked the door, and stepped inside. It was dark out; the sun way below the horizon and its absence made creepy shadows appear on the walls in the foyer. I flicked on the hall light and every light I passed by on the way up to my room.

When I stepped into my bedroom and turned on the light, a creepy feeling set into my stomach.

_I know that feeling,_ I thought with a sudden feeling of hope. _I always got this feeling when…. Could he be here?_

"A-Angel?" I stuttered, stuttering slightly. "Angel, are you there?"

**Angelus's POV**

_Mmm, the Slayer,_ was all that was going through my mind.

The precious, innocent, Slayer. God, how I missed how she moved with such a timid, cautious way. Like a small fawn tentatively walking in an open meadow, always on alert for a predator to strike. I could feel how her pulse thudded in her neck, hear how erratic her heart beat, and smell the fear coming from her pores. The perfect way to arouse me: the unbeatable Buffy Summers afraid of something creeping outside her window, oblivious to the fact that the "something" she feared was me.

I wanted to laugh, but I didn't want to give myself away. She thought it was Angel lurking outside her bedroom window._ Angel_, I sneered at the thought of him. That insufferable soul-boy with his good intentions and dickless way of following the Slayer like a whipped schoolboy… fuck, it was enough to make me want to burn myself just thinking of how she touched this body with love and caring sincerity. It made me want to plunge a stake into my own heart for not breaking free and snapping her neck for making me feel like a man.

A new scent caught my attention and I brought my focus back on the Slayer.

She was now sitting on her bed, clutching something in her hand. I shifted so I could try and get a better look at what she was holding, but I couldn't see. She held it too tight for me to get a good look at what it might be. But the scent? I sniffed the air, trying to catch a hint of what I smelled.

The Slayer then unclasped her fist and I saw what she held: it was the cross that my weaker counterpart had given her. And, what was that? I sniffed, and almost moaned in want. It was covered in blood. She held it so tight that the ends dug into her palm and fingers… I was so close to the Slayer's blood I could practically taste it.

But… should I want to make myself known to her? She was the first thing I wanted to see… the first thing I wanted to touch, to taste… It would be a lie if I were to say that I didn't lust after Buffy Summers. What vampire wouldn't?

I growled at the image of spreading her wide on her bed, knees bent and my head between her creamy thighs, licking the soft flesh around her clit. I licked my own lips, thinking how delicious it'd be to bite the vein on the inside of her thigh and suck the sweet blood from her flesh…

My leather pants tightened, and I felt my arousal awaken. _Then I'll show myself to her tonight,_ I decided. _But… no. Not so fast, Angelus. Devise a plan first. Remember what you told Spike when you first came back?_

I smiled at the memory and whispered, "To kill this girl, you have to love her."

**Buffy's POV**

I just sat there on my bed, letting the tears fall from my eyes as I clutched the necklace that Angel had given me on my first day of living in Sunnydale. God, it was such a long time ago. I remember how he intrigued me as the tall, dark and handsome stranger that I'd later fantasize about and grow to love, despite all the reasons why I shouldn't. Maybe that was my biggest mistake: loving Angel.

_Was it though?_ I asked myself. _Was that my biggest mistake? Or was my biggest mistake not learning of his curse before I lost my virginity to him?_

My thoughts were interrupted by a creaking sound I heard against my window.

My back shot up, ramrod straight, and the hairs on the back of my neck picked up as I became aware of someone near me. "Um, hello?" I called out, getting off my bed to go over to the window. "Is… is anybody there?"

I peered out the window but all I saw was darkness. _Come on, Buffy,_ I thought. _Get a grip 'cause you're getting a bad case of the crazies. No one is out there, just calm down and go to bed before you think Santa is paying a visit to your chimney… Wait, I don't have a chimney…_

I shook my head and turned away from the window, rubbing my temples to ease my scattered brains.

"Buffy?"

I jumped and turned around, my eyes lighting up when I saw him. "Oh, my God, Angel!"

The urge to hug him was overwhelming. He looked so good in his black, silk button up shirt that he had open to expose his muscled chest and his tight, black leather pants. Okay, then maybe I had more of an urge to just hug him. Hey, what can I say? It's so unfortunate to have a sexy exboyfriend that you can't get enough of and want more of every time you see him.

"You ugh, you gonna let me in or what?" Angel asked, his crooked smile on his face.

"Oh, right," I said, turning a bit red from embarrassment. "Um, you can come in."

"Thanks," he said, stepping into the room and leaning against the windowsill.

"So," I said, aiming for a comfortable conversation. It wasn't everyday that Angel decided to pop up out of nowhere to see me. It used to be that way, before he left. But now since he's back, it makes everything feel so much better.

"So, what?" he asked, crossing his arms across his broad chest.

I blushed and looked stupidly at my feet. "Um, this is just, a- um, weird surprise."

"It is," he agreed, his voice dropping to that serious tone he got when he realized he may be out of line. "I'm… I'm so sorry, Buffy. I just…" he cut off what he said to look at me directly in the eyes, his fingers working nervously together. "I just hated how you left my office earlier."

I looked away nervously and tucked some hair behind my ear. "Yeah," I admitted, sheepishly looking at him. "Yeah, I did act a bit weird. I'm sorry. It's just sometimes I still… I still, um, get nervous when I see you. 'Cause of, you know, everything that's happened."

"I understand, Buffy, it's just-" he cut off.

"Just what?" I stepped closer to him, and he followed suit and closed the distance between us.

"I miss you. And seeing you today only made me realize how much I need you back in my life."

"As what?" I questioned, pent up excitement racing through my veins like adrenaline.

"As anything. We could take it slow, I mean, I'd help with the slaying and maybe we'd do the coffee thing, or maybe we'd just pick this up from where we shouldn't have left off. It's up to you."

My mouth hung open in shock and I brought my hands up to my temples, obviously having a hard time taking this all in.

**Angelus's POV**

_It's working,_ I realized. _Fifteen minutes haven't gone by yet and all ready I'm making the Slayer turn into a basket case. This is too good._

Watching Buffy squirm with her inner emotions brought a sense of joy into my heart. Pretending to be like Angel was a new talent of mine, I realized, something I was to good at doing. Playing on this girl's emotions was too simple, too easy, I almost feared she'd see through my façade and realize who I really was. But this was Buffy, after all, I reminded myself. The girl may be quick with a stake but when it comes to Angel, she's blindsided by her naïve, simplistic school girl feelings.

I could play it up some more, I could torture her with words, but why bother with that?

I smiled, looked over at her and cast an innocent gaze on her. "Buffy, I'm sorry for coming here. I could leave if you want. It's just…"

Her head snapped up. "Just what? You just wanted to come here and do what? Confuse me more than I all ready am?"

I stepped closer to her, close so I could scoop her into my arms and hold her head against my chest. I held up my arms, indicating that I wanted to embrace her, but she backed away from me.

The look in those green eyes of her, the scared prey look that hinted how much she distrusted me satisfied me immensely. Did she know that this was I wanted? To break her into trusting me just so I could rub it in her face that she was too easy to give it up? She wanted me to play into her hands when really, little miss Buffy Summers was playing into mine.

Of course, I feigned a hurt expression on my face.

"Buffy, please," I begged, allowing the pathetic want to appear in my voice. "Please, just let me-"

"You really want me, Angel?" she whispered, taken aback by the idea that my façade wanted something romantic with her. "After all this time, you really want to try again?"

"Why not?" I asked, determined to taste her. When I came close to her, she didn't pull away. I cupped her chin with my big hands and pulled her face up, demanding that she look me in the eyes before I kissed her.

How ironic is it that the moment I get the Slayer alone and she's completely vulnerable and ignorant to my identity that I'm spending it on wanting to kiss her rather than kill her. I couldn't help but want to sample the heat coming from her skin, to feel the soft skin of her lips pressed against mine. Did I want her dead? Eventually, yes, but did that mean I had to do it so suddenly? Absolutely not. I wanted to make her insane like I had made Drusilla- maybe not as annoying or as loony, but I wanted to make her need me. Turning her into a vampire may have been also out of the question, but turning her into a nutcase wasn't. I wanted my Buff to be totally and completely driven mad with crazed lust over me that she couldn't breathe, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep without needing me to be there for her. I wanted to be the center of her world, the sun in her universe that she had to revolve mercilessly around. I wanted her to need me like she never needed anyone before.

She closed her eyes, feeling the absence of heat that my flesh created on her cheek, and leaned in toward my entrapping embrace. The little fawn unknowingly walking into the arms of her hunter, so lovingly and trustingly, allowing herself to be immersed into the very hold of her soon to be killer. And this notion continued to amuse and arouse me like no other.

_No time to waste,_ I thought. _Give yourself a taste of her. After all, you did come all this way to do that, didn't you?_

She was so close, I could feel her breath against my face. The beautiful pink color of her lips drew me into her. They parted, sensing I was close, and through half lidded eyes I saw the lust in her captivating eyes.

I leaned in for the kill.

Her lips were luscious, full, and moved in such a familiar way against mine. As soon as we tasted each other, the passion took flame. The kisses were hard and deep, not as bruising as I'd like it to be, but it was enough for now. She moved eagerly, kissing my bottom lip and taking it gently between her lips before she opened and allowed her tongue to graze my mouth. _Fuck,_ I thought._ Why did the Powers That Be have to fuck with me like this? The Slayer the only human that can sate me… how ironic could They be?_

**Buffy's POV**

Too many thoughts were running through my mind as I kissed Angel. It was so familiar, so wanted that I didn't mind what would happen tomorrow. We were in the moment, a moment I had been waiting for since I had seen him, and I wasn't letting go. I was seizing what I wanted, finally taking the advice I had given to Willow such a long time ago. I was totally living in _carpe diem_ and it felt too good to back away from.

In the midst of our passionate kissing, I found myself hastily pushed against the door of my closet, Angel hoisting me up around his waist as he pressed me between him and the solid wood behind me. I opened my mouth to moan, without thinking of course, and one of Angel's teeth scraped against my bottom lip.

And of course, this drew blood.

"Ow," I muttered, pushing away from Angel a bit so I could put pressure on my bleeding lip. _Of course this had to happen_, I thought with a frown. Why couldn't I just be with him? Why did everything wrong have to happen when I was with him?

"Buffy? Are you okay?" Angel asked, concern in his voice.

I looked at him and I guess he saw the blood, or smelled the blood, because his nostrils flared and he bit his own lip in what looked like… _arousal?_

**Angelus's POV**

_That fucking bitch!_

Did she have to blow my cover so quickly? Did she honestly have to ruin almost everything? I wanted to taste her effortlessly tonight and of course that can't happen because this is Buffy fucking Summers we're talking about. What she doesn't complicate she'll have others do it for her, so anything I plan for now on I'll have to coordinate about five plan b's to make up for it.

My composure was gone, completely replaced by unbridled arousal. She saw it, I could sense it. The way her pulse thudded excitedly in her neck and the way her breath hitched in surprise clearly indicated that she knew my arousal.

"Angel?" her soft, timid voice beckoned to me. "Angel, are you-?"

I didn't let her finish. I couldn't bear to blow this- I needed to fucking break her first. With one look at her and a snarl, I turned away and leapt through her open bedroom window, disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

So this took a while to get out- completely unexpected delay. It was harder than I thought to try and get inside Buffy's AND Angelus's mind and capture their personalities correctly. I'm not even sure if I did- haha- but hopefully with some more chapters I'll grasp their voices perfectly. But thank you for being patient! I promise the next chapter will be here sooner!


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